Hello. I’m going to file this post as if I wrote it the year I stopped the blog, but it is in actuality not July the 7th of 2014, but January 21, 2022. (Part of me is turning over in my head how to approach any of this. I was a year behind when I stopped – so I can’t even put catch-up posts on the date they should be entered!) Ian’s turning fifteen years old – and he’s on his second week of driver’s training. Nina’s in middle school and is a wonderful young lady. Ian’s in marching band. Nina plays cello in the orchestra. Seth is gone. Sabine is right here. And my dad took one last ride on June 24th of last year – and did not return.
It is very close to ten years since I stopped writing. It breaks my heart to have stopped, but it was a broken heart that stopped me in the first place. I’m not sure exactly what happened – or maybe I am. Months before Lilly Looking Through would appear on Steam, I started seeing the end looming on the horizon, like dusk. I became anxious. I looked for ways to keep this going. Interviewed at a game studio in Kalamazoo – but it wasn’t the right fit. And everything else was a few states away. I want to tell that Daran that if he could somehow move on from this, he’d enjoy his children growing up all the more. But a dark cloud settled over me, and stayed. It’s that simple. I was not inspired enough to keep writing this. I would think about it, but I felt unhappy, and it seemed like going back to it would mean reliving it. And it spread. I was not inspired enough to focus on work. And it got worse. Life got harder and more complicated. There were a ridiculous number of good things – it was just a little harder to see them; and not as easy to smile about them.
Family, if you’re reading this, I’m so sorry I stopped the blog. I just listened to Nina ordering chips and salsa at three years old and asking me about Halo – and I’m completely choked up. How did I not see how important this was to me?
I’m happy to say that I did, at the very least – make some posts on Facebook here and there as major events happened. I’m thinking I might actually get back into this – dig into the photos of the past, dig into the Facebook posts – and just slowly work my way forward. Weirdly now might be a good time to catch up, as each day is not filled with an adorable quote. It’s more like each month – and they’re admittedly less cute quotes, yet more hilarious. They’ve got my sense of humor, if I may be so indulgent as to say that. 🙂
Wow.
I have so much to tell you.
https://outoftheirminds.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/ootmd-logo-dark-wings-3Asset-15.svg00vrbfwhttps://outoftheirminds.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/ootmd-logo-dark-wings-3Asset-15.svgvrbfw2014-07-07 05:23:302022-02-26 20:38:26Hello from the future
Alright everybody, it is time to get this blog caught up. We are back to being almost a year behind. A lot of what is stopping me from keeping it up-to-date is that I am living with the frustration of being behind all the time. So here’s the deal. NO VIDEOS. Videos take forever to edit, by comparison… so for now I’m skipping videos and may come back to do those later. The big thing is to get caught up, so let’s focus on pictures and audio/written. Hold on tight!
So, here’s all of August in ONE entry! GO!
Also, I’ll apologize in advance… I went into great detail about my story this month, because this is possibly the best month of my life from certain angles; I want my children to know that I got to do what I always wanted — at least for a little while.
August 1st, I hopped on a plane to go visit Grandma Sue, who needed a little help from her kiddo. This is O’Hare, where my layover was. See this image larger.
It’s really a nice airport, if you don’t have to stay overnight or anything. See this image larger.
August 5th, and it was time to head home… Grandma Sue and I bonded a lot and we were both very happy I made the trip. Meanwhile, Steve from Geeta Games informed me that Lilly had won a conference… and I was going to get to go to PAX Prime 2013, for me, a near-Holy pilgrimage. And it was right around the corner, too! See this image larger.
August 6th, Ian got to go to the same wild animal reserve that Nina was able to earlier in the year as part of his summer camp at daycare stay. See this image larger.
Giraffe in Michigan… how’s the weather up there? Crappy. Anyway… Thanks Mommy for chaperoning on this trip… I was busy making a video game! See this image larger.
August 16th, our hope with Lilly lay in Steam Greenlight. If we were “green lit” the game would be an immediate success, we figured, based on the history of other green lit games. If only, we dreamed. See this image larger.
Overall they enjoyed it, but a couple shortcomings reared their heads. Turned out, there wasn’t much we could do about them on our schedule and with our budget. This would come back to haunt us. See this image larger.
August 19th, Uh… Ian with a napkin. It’s a shame this was a year ago, I’m sure there was a reason I took this. See this image larger.
Ian didn’t get it this year, but I can say with confidence that he got it in the spring of 2014… mostly because I’m playing catch-up now in the summer of 2014! See this image larger.
Oh, here we go, here’s a shot of the three of them. Recent rumor has it that they are trying to move from LA, back to this area, as of July 2014. No idea if it will happen, but I can honestly say I love Phil. He’s a really great friend, and having him around would be fantastic in all sorts of ways. We could watch Vonn, they could maybe watch our kids, the four of us could go out… Joyce and Melissa even get along great; so this would be perfect. See this image larger.
August 20th, here we are at BC Pizza, and Ian is enthralled with whatever the heck was on TV. That’s what happens when you go from no Nickelodeon, to Nickelodeon in one sudden jolt. See this image larger.
Probably my favorite picture from 2014, right here. She was completely fearless and comfortable in the water, and what a little smile! See this image larger.
August 28th, and Ian has a locker! And he gets to share it with whatever the heck a “Braylon” is. See this image larger.
Believe this was a bit of an orientation, as I said, on August 28th. It is sort of sad, when I look back, how much I had to miss to be a game developer. See this image larger.
But meanwhile, I was at Steve and Jessica’s reveling in good news. Valve had decided to green light ALL the winners of the contest. We wouldn’t have to spend the PAX conference asking people to vote for us! It would turn out, however, that Valve was letting ALL of the doors open… instead of some 15 games making it in that month… 200 showed up all at once. We were sort of lost in the shuffle. See this image larger.
August 29th, in the wee hours of the morn, myself, Steve and Jessica all hopped in his car to head to the Chicago airport. See this image larger.
This is the weather that greeted our arrival. It was still pretty epic, with the evergreens everywhere. This was the only day it rained, and there was lightning. Seattle-folk told us that the weather we experienced in the time we were there was anything but typical. Usually no lightning… and a whole lot less sun. See this image larger.
That night I was at a party and I ate this mess. It was steak, french fries, and a sort of blue cheese dressing. It was America on a plate and it was freakin’ awesome. All of the food this trip was absolutely brilliant. See this image larger.
Christian is the guy on the left… we’re holding our two awards for the contest that we won. (It should be noted that I really didn’t have much to do with the demo, which is really what bought our tickets to get to Seattle. So I’m in debt to the rest of the team for making this dream come true.) See this image larger.
You can’t see them all here, but three of these people are the Stansels… they were an amazing host family that let us have the run of their house. And Jason (not pictured) let us tour a studio, and just pointed from a single parking lot, at all of the developers in the area that I would love to work for. Microsoft, Bungie, 343i, Sucker Punch, Valve… each in their own building downtown. The little boy in the foreground, I believe his name was Owen. Was a super sweet kid that reminded me of Ian. I was horrible during this trip, about touching base with home. The time difference, my phone being constantly out of charge, and just being on the show floor made for little contact with my family.See this image larger.
I won’t say much more, I’m sure I’ve said too much already about the trip. We worked the floor a lot, trying to get people interested in the game. This is us doing our thing… the guy on the left there is Mark DeForest, a legend in my eyes, he worked on Myst and Riven. Truly this was the trip of my dreams. The game went on to moderate reviews, and what I would call fairly poor sales. The team disbanded, and the dream was over. But for a bit, I had it, and I’ve never been happier, career-wise. I daresay it was even worth missing my son’s first day of first grade… which isn’t easy for me to say. See this image larger.
While I was out of town, Grampa Ray and Grandma Barb stayed at our house, very helpful! See this image larger.
https://outoftheirminds.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/ootmd-logo-dark-wings-3Asset-15.svg00vrbfwhttps://outoftheirminds.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/ootmd-logo-dark-wings-3Asset-15.svgvrbfw2014-07-06 16:59:362014-07-06 16:59:36August 2013 Catch Up Mode
(REMINDER, when I put stuff in asterisks, *like this,* the kids didn’t really say that, I’m just making a funny bit of dialogue as a caption. If the kids actually said something during the picture, and I remember it, it’ll be in normal quotes, “like this.”)
This van… had a lot of carpet in it. At this point we were almost there. And I probably swore to never drive 8 hours in any direction ever again in my life. I say that a lot. See this image larger.
July 27th. Cool restaurant. I think this was owned by the bride’s sister, so we went there to support the family. See this image larger.
July 27th, we drove by the Nashville “Adventure Science Center” on our way to the hotel and knew we should check it out! So we did. See this image larger.
Nina attempts to give herself bunny ears… although the “batman building” in the background almost did the same. See this image larger.
It had this cool inner structure for the kids to play in with exhibits built in. Toward the top level (I think it had eight, total) it starts getting claustrophobic. See this image larger.
Here Mommy tries to flip around into the top part successfully. I don’t know if I ever did make it up to the top just because of how cramped it ended up becoming. If they ever have a fire in that place, they will be in big trouble. See this image larger.
In line for the planetarium! A kind guy at the front desk showed us how we could buy tickets for the show and see the rest of the place at a discount rather than just buy tickets for the museum. See this image larger.
Finally, the kids fulfill a lifelong dream of riding on the Magic Schoolbus with Ms. Frizzle. I can happily report that the bus did not end up in somebody’s digestive tract, or in space. See this image larger.
July 28th, we met up with one of Melissa’s friends. He’s former FBI so we didn’t take a picture. See this image larger.
This was an awesome restaurant though, and I’d go back again in a heartbeat. You might think I would forget the name of this place, and that might be true… OR I can’t tell you because of the FBI thing. Classified. See this image larger.
Here’s some other stories that I recall from our trip, while we look at some pics… Ian’s jokingly cry-face reminded me of being at the Wafflehouse (and the kids were trying my patience) on one of the mornings, and having somebody “pay it forward” without our knowledge. Free breakfast! People are super nice in Nashville… that whole southern hospitality thing, they aren’t kidding. See this image larger.
Love these kids. Ian, of course, had to go potty just as they started assembling the procession… so we scrambled to the nearest men’s room… See this image larger.
…which turned out to be in the middle of the advancing procession as we got back out of the bathroom… See this image larger.
… we couldn’t go out into the main area with all eyes waiting for the procession, soooo Ian and I had an adventure, ducking behind curtains and sneaking through back kitchens. It was pretty fun. See this image larger.
Such a sweetie. Mommy was kind enough to help out a friend during the reception part of the wedding, and missed a few of these moments, but got to re-connect which was good.See this image larger.
July 29th, on the way home, at a gas station… I think this was in Indiana. See this image larger.
July 31st, video games at home again. I think this is the first (and so far only) time that Ian and Nina played “split screen” Minecraft. See this image larger.
https://outoftheirminds.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/ootmd-logo-dark-wings-3Asset-15.svg00vrbfwhttps://outoftheirminds.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/ootmd-logo-dark-wings-3Asset-15.svgvrbfw2014-03-16 12:53:182014-03-16 12:53:18July 2013 – A Nashville Wedding
Hello from the future
Hello. I’m going to file this post as if I wrote it the year I stopped the blog, but it is in actuality not July the 7th of 2014, but January 21, 2022. (Part of me is turning over in my head how to approach any of this. I was a year behind when I stopped – so I can’t even put catch-up posts on the date they should be entered!) Ian’s turning fifteen years old – and he’s on his second week of driver’s training. Nina’s in middle school and is a wonderful young lady. Ian’s in marching band. Nina plays cello in the orchestra. Seth is gone. Sabine is right here. And my dad took one last ride on June 24th of last year – and did not return.
It is very close to ten years since I stopped writing. It breaks my heart to have stopped, but it was a broken heart that stopped me in the first place. I’m not sure exactly what happened – or maybe I am. Months before Lilly Looking Through would appear on Steam, I started seeing the end looming on the horizon, like dusk. I became anxious. I looked for ways to keep this going. Interviewed at a game studio in Kalamazoo – but it wasn’t the right fit. And everything else was a few states away. I want to tell that Daran that if he could somehow move on from this, he’d enjoy his children growing up all the more. But a dark cloud settled over me, and stayed. It’s that simple. I was not inspired enough to keep writing this. I would think about it, but I felt unhappy, and it seemed like going back to it would mean reliving it. And it spread. I was not inspired enough to focus on work. And it got worse. Life got harder and more complicated. There were a ridiculous number of good things – it was just a little harder to see them; and not as easy to smile about them.
Family, if you’re reading this, I’m so sorry I stopped the blog. I just listened to Nina ordering chips and salsa at three years old and asking me about Halo – and I’m completely choked up. How did I not see how important this was to me?
I’m happy to say that I did, at the very least – make some posts on Facebook here and there as major events happened. I’m thinking I might actually get back into this – dig into the photos of the past, dig into the Facebook posts – and just slowly work my way forward. Weirdly now might be a good time to catch up, as each day is not filled with an adorable quote. It’s more like each month – and they’re admittedly less cute quotes, yet more hilarious. They’ve got my sense of humor, if I may be so indulgent as to say that. 🙂
Wow.
I have so much to tell you.
August 2013 Catch Up Mode
Alright everybody, it is time to get this blog caught up. We are back to being almost a year behind. A lot of what is stopping me from keeping it up-to-date is that I am living with the frustration of being behind all the time. So here’s the deal. NO VIDEOS. Videos take forever to edit, by comparison… so for now I’m skipping videos and may come back to do those later. The big thing is to get caught up, so let’s focus on pictures and audio/written. Hold on tight!
So, here’s all of August in ONE entry! GO!
Also, I’ll apologize in advance… I went into great detail about my story this month, because this is possibly the best month of my life from certain angles; I want my children to know that I got to do what I always wanted — at least for a little while.
July 2013 – A Nashville Wedding
(REMINDER, when I put stuff in asterisks, *like this,* the kids didn’t really say that, I’m just making a funny bit of dialogue as a caption. If the kids actually said something during the picture, and I remember it, it’ll be in normal quotes, “like this.”)