Before the successes of last week, there was a turning point in Ian. I think our little man has had to watch attention get lavished over Nina… being born, getting sick and being in the hospital, the coddling of grandparents, feeding off of Mommy. I can’t be absolutely sure, but I thought I heard it on the way to daycare one morning.
Daddy – You know what happens next week kiddo, right?
Ian – No.
Daddy – Nina goes to school with you buddy. She’ll be in her own classroom, but she’ll start going to school too.
Ian – Nina goes to school with me?
Daddy -Yup she’ll be in her own class, but same school, down the hall. You know where the babies are down the hallway? That’s where she’ll be. And Mommy or Daddy will drop you both off when we go to work.
Ian – Oooo.
In that “Oooo” was this odd sound of relief mixed with understanding. I can’t possibly imitate it, but I swear I could hear “My parents aren’t shipping me away for days at a time so they can hang out with Nina after all!!!” While he’s still a challenging three year old from time to time, his attitude did seem to get a lot better once he had this understanding. It seems like those stretches where he’s an angel have gotten longer. His patience a little better.
So that week he was showing signs of an approaching milestone, but we still had no idea what the heck was going on the morning Nina officially went to daycare, when he asked for big-boy underwear. I told you about his successes that week: Wednesday 1 success, Thursday no successes, Friday two successes, Saturday success all day, Sunday 1 accident, and then, literally NO accidents since Sunday the 9th, some 4 days ago. We’ve had diapers on him at night, but he has yet to wet or soil them. He just wakes up in the morning and has to go.
On Wednesday I helped Melissa drop off the kids because I really wanted to see what everybody’s reaction would be. Last they had known he’d had two meager successes. While they weren’t as excited as I thought they’d be, Ian proved that he has what it takes by marching to the potty that very moment, and afterwards bumping Melissa out of the way and washing his hands. When Melissa picked him up that day he went potty again – he ran off over to their little porta-potty thing, he peed, emptied the bowl in the toilet, then rinsed it in the sink, and put it back. The caregiver there looked surprised about the rinsing part and said “we don’t train them to do that…” She wasn’t mad, she was wondering where Ian learned this part of the process. (I think that might be my fault, but let’s not dwell on it, the important thing is he was following a process.) After another successful day at school, Ian came home, and went potty – we hopped in Melissa’s car and had a celebratory dinner… which was followed by another activity and another… the whole time I’m wondering if Ian would make it home. He did just fine. It is now 11:30pm, and about an hour ago Ian actually got up out of bed twice, asking to go potty. Neither of these were false alarms. As the caregiver at daycare said “Night and day difference.”
I’d be ignorant to say that Ian is this amazing new child that behaves perfectly all the time. He’s not. But I’d be just as ignorant if I said I failed to see a difference in him. His smile is a little more confident. He is proud, and happy that we are proud. See this image larger.